I haven't been on blogger for at least 4 days, I think. Inconceivable, huh?
Anyways, I think deep down, I sort of avoided it on purpose. Why, you ask? I feel like I don't have my head in the game. Now that I have basically no restriction (almost 3 weeks out from band placement), I feel like I'm up to my same old tricks. I think, deep down, I didn't want to see other people being successful. It's the same thing as avoiding the WW meeting. At least it feels the same to me.
I sure hope a fill changes things for me. Obviously, I've never had one, so I don't know what it'll do to me. But right now, I feel like I'm cramming everything into my mouth that'll fit. Last night we grilled out with my brother and his family. I didn't have the second hot dog that I might have had in the past, but I still had the chips, dip, baked beans and ice cream cake.
Let me ask you this: when you're appropriately full, do you eat until your tummy is no longer grumbling, or do you eat until you feel sufficiently full? I'm not talking about overly stuffed, gonna chuck full, but more like, "Hm, that was a nice meal, I don't want anymore, but if someone told me they'd steal my kids if I don't eat another 3 bites, I could definitely eat those 3 bites, plus 2 more for good measure."
If, after a fill, I am allowed to eat until I'm comfortably full, then I think I can do this. However, if I'm supposed to eat until I'm just barely no longer starving, I think I'm going to struggle.
I don't know. It's so hard to believe that I won't be one of those people that fail.
Poop. I'm such a downer. I want to have a good attitude again!
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Did you get a chance to read some other blogs from the beginning? What you are going through is completely normal. I know it sucks, but unfortunately it is a part of this journey. I just thank God that I am learning from all of you so my expectations are in check when my time comes.
ReplyDeleteHi Kim...I am only one week out so I cant talk to having a fill. I can, however, talk about when I did Weight Watchers Core Plan. I had to eat until I was satisfied, not full. It was hard trying to figure exactly when that was. I am hoping that will be where the band comes in as a tool. I am in control of what I put on my fork and I am hoping the band lets me know when to put it down!
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you!
My first recommendation would be to not avoid blogger if you can. If it helps to not read other blogs - that's understandable. But post what you are thinking (like you did) so we can tell you you are not alone and you are not in trouble, even.
ReplyDeleteBut you know that. 'Cause you came back! Please keep coming back. I know you know, but the support here is truly amazing and no one is going to chide you for enjoying a cookout. Focus on the fact that you didn't eat the second hot dog. How often do you even have access to icecream cake? This isn't about deprivation, it's about being smart and choosing based on known consequences.
Welcome to bandster hell. You will get your fill and it won't solve all. So just keep hanging in there and, like you are doing, stay aware.
Oh, the lovely bandster hell. They way i have been doing things is that before i serve myself a meal, I think about how much I would have served myself in the past, then I auctomatically take half that amount. There is no having seconds, so what I have on my plate will be enough for me. 9 times out of 10, I find that by the time I am 3/4 of the way done, I have reached that point where I am full. Not stuffed, but full. There is probably going to be the part of me that always thinks about eating that last bit, but on the times I have done it, I have instantly known it was a bad choice for 2 reasons. One of those reasons is knowing that I REALLY didn't need it and it was just me slipping back into old habits of eating just because it was there, but also I knew it was a bad choice because usually that last bit or two would give me an almost instant tightness because I was overfull.
ReplyDeletePlease keep coming back to post. None of us are perfect and we don't expect you to be either. We all have craptacular days where we can't resist the siren song of the cookies or the ice cream. But we are here to support one another because we can relate and understand everything that each other are going through. It has not been all roses and rainbows for me and the advice I have gotten has been wonderful. Rather than giving up, I've been able to turn to you wonderful ladies for advice, support and friendship. I hope you feel the same way. Trust me, it gets better!
Well, I'm glad you are back. What you are feeling is normal. It's hard right now...I remember feeling like I'd gone through all of it for nothing. I was wrong! Just try not to be too hard on yourself, make good choices, drink your water and get out and move. Once you start getting fills (which are a piece of cake!) you will see what this band can really do for you. I'll be happy to say "I told you so!" :)
ReplyDeleteI'm at my "sweet spot" (for now) and I can honestly say that I eat approx. 1/2 - 1 c. of food and I am COMPLETELY satisfied. Yes, sure..I could eat a few more bites, but I don't want to. I'm full - meal time over. Cravings gone. It took me a LONG time to realize that I didn't have to finish what was on my plate. I've gotten really good at pitching it or saving it for lunch the next day. I never would/could have done that before. I ate like a starving lumberjack. HUGE portions. Then dessert and 2 colas. If I can be full on a small meal for 4-5 hours ANYONE can! (Anyone with the band that is!)
I hope this helps..keep asking questions..we are here to support you!
Remember...don't be too hard on yourself right now..you are still in the healing phase.
:)
Jen
when i eat, i take it slow like my nutritionist told me to. or at least i try to. sometimes i go a little faster than i prolly should. but anyway.... i take the tiny bites using a baby spoon like i was also told to do. and as i eat, i can usually literally feel myself getting fuller. and i can usually feel (in my throat or chest sorta) when i'm full and satisfied. it's like i could eat more but don't really want to cuz i know it would make me uncomfy and that i don't wanna be!
ReplyDeleteTotally normal. Incredibly frustrating and annoying and disspiriting, but normal. Just hang in there and with each fill you will be closer to your sweet spot. Really, it's true.
ReplyDelete