Day 6 Pre Op - Back down

I think it's so strange that I'm yo-yoing this week. But whatever, now I'm back down to 240.2, my lowest recorded weight since I started the pre-op diet. Hopefully it'll stick around for tomorrow!

So, like most, I haven't told many people about my decision. I just don't want to be judged by people who know nothing about the process.

So last night, I called my dad just to chat, and we were talking about how I haven't told my sister about the LB because she's a total blabber-mouth, and couldn't keep anything to herself. She's always the last person I tell important things to (ie, pregnancy) because if I told her first, there would be no need to talk to anyone else.

Dad goes, "Well, I told Janile (an old friend of my mom's from back home who has an interest in my life) and Bonnie (my aunt from back home who owns a hair salon)."
I said, "You did!?!?" And he goes, "Well, I didn't tell them until you started telling people." I said, "I haven't told anyone!!!!!"

I was so mad at him. Why one earth would he tell these people?!?! Janile is a non-stop talker, and Bonnie cuts hair. I think you have to minor in gossiping when you learn how to cut hair. That's just what they do. I wanted to say, "What the hell were you thinking? This is my private business!" But, I didn't. I said, "Well, that really sucks, I was hoping to keep this to myself." Plus, you can't un-ring a bell, so it does no good anyway.

So I'm almost positive my sister knows now, as she gets her hair cut by said aunt mentioned above. And if my sister knows, that means everyone from back home knows. G*d d*mn it.

The only silver lining to all of this is that these people are people that I only see maybe once or twice a year. Even my family. We just don't get together that often. I won't have any regular contact with them, so I shouldn't have to face any criticism. It just sucks. I just really wanted to show up next Christmas and be 50 lbs lighter and have them all shocked.

Now, on the other hand, there are those folks that I see on a regular basis. I've been pretty vague about what we're doing for 5 days next week - I've just been saying "we're going to be out of town." But all my friends know that's weird because it makes no sense that we'll be out of town during the week. We're going to miss our Wednesday playgroup, the kids swap that I do on Tuesdays and Thursdays, my 4 year old is missing school (so my mommy friends will notice that I'm not there to pick her up), and we'll have to find substitute teachers for the two Sunday school classes that we teach before church (I know Sunday school teachers probably aren't supposed to say G*d d*mn it, but G*d d*mn it). What I'm getting to is that a lot of my everyday acquaintances will notice we're missing for a while.

Anyway, one friend who is involved in pretty much all of that called me up yesterday to discuss the kid swap. I said we might just have to put it on hold for a few weeks, because she's busy this week, and next week doesn't work for me because I'm "out of town." She goes, "I don't mean to be nosy, but what are you guys doing?"

Uh-oh, now I have to tell her something. So, I thought on the fly and told her that we're just taking a long weekend to ourselves. I said that my in-laws have tons of vacation to use now that they don't have any kids at home, and wanted to keep our kids for a while, so we're just going to have a lazy trip. She keeps going, "Oh, that's so nice, you guys deserve it, you've been working so hard!"

Now I feel bad. I didn't want to outright lie to anyone, I just wanted to avoid the topic. But I can't change it now. Crap. Or, should I say, G*d d*mn it.